A grown-up heart ache

Last night I made it home just in time to read the boys a book and tuck them in. After our normal prayers and kisses and hugs everyone got situated in their perspective beds. Devlan (from the top bunk) sat up and handed me his frog (he sleeps with a frog and a bear every night). He said "mommy I can sleep by myself now, you can throw the frog away". He said it without a smile on his face and he was actually quite pitiful. I was saddened and immediately suspicious of what brought this on. Was this a sort of big boy rite of passage to give up your stuffies or had someone shamed him into this? I walked away (with frog in hand) looking for Drew's huge Mickey Mouse and my mommy-dar kicked in. I walked back and stood on the bottom bunk so I could be nose to nose with my big boy and asked him, "Baby, did somebody tell you that you shouldn't sleep with stuffed animals?" Big alligator tears filled his eyes and he shook his head no. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I don't know". I made sure he knew that I was NOT going to throw the frog away and he could have it if he wanted.

I left the boys to go to sleep and slipped into my own bed to read while I waited for BJ to come home. I couldn't get over the frog thing and my very wise husband (via the phone) said why don't you go get in the bed with him and talk. This hadn't occurred to me at all, mostly because I feared breaking the bed and smooshing Drewdie down below. He assured me it would be ok.

My climb into the bed was less than graceful, but was very welcomed by Devlan. I kissed his face and wiped his tears away, much like my own mother had done a million times for me. I asked him again, did someone say something to him about sleeping with stuffies? There, in the safety of the darkness, he began to whisper to me about how he has been picked on by 2 girls in his class. He took his bear with him on pajama day during spirit week, and ever since then has been ragged by these two little girls. My heart was broken in 2, not because he had been picked on (that part made me want to strangle a 1st grader), but because I realized that this was his 1st of very many grown-up hurts. This was different than when your babies are sick and your heart hurts, I truly felt his aching heart in my own chest. I reassured him and reminded him that God made him so special and that there will be many people in his life that have things to say about him and none of them matter except for what Jesus thinks (and mom & dad, I must confess I added us in). I told him I would talk to his teacher, and he asked if his "Daddy could handle it", which attests to Devlan's full faith in his father's strength and protection....how do I teach Devlan that one day, when his earthly Father is gone, he will have to rely on his heavenly Father. This task of raising godly men is almost too much, Jesus show me how to make my babies value your opinion over the snotty nosed 1st grade girls!

Late is better than never

So I'm a month behind on updating my blog, big fat surprise considering we're in the heat of tax season.

BJ's surprise was my dream date, in living color. We went to eat sushi (my favorite), a couples massage at Skin Sense, and ended up at the Embassy Suites for the night. He had purchased me something beautiful to wear....and that's where the PG ends...it was sweet and wonderful to spend time alone and away. I'm still looking for the wings that must be attached to him somewhere.

Devlan has started baseball and it turns out our little brain is really good at throwing and hitting (who'd a thunk?). They are just practicing right now and he is really enjoying it. Devlan also made A Honor Roll (again) and is growing like a weed. It makes me want to cry as I clean out their drawers to make room for warm weather clothes. The years are flying by and I don't want to miss a moment of it.

Drew is still the baby (his forever designation) and is getting funnier by the day. Althogh BJ can be hilarious, I'm guessing that Drew got his humor from his Uncle Scott. I spend alot of time trying to avoid laughing at him in moments when I should be giving him the evil eye. For instance, last night we were having a family dinner around the table and Drewdie was eating like a horse. He asked for more after scarfing down a huge sandwich and bowl of soup and then let out the loudest burp ever. He of course smiled and said "Scuse me". I did my best to cover my face and act like I was choking while bouncing with laughter at him. So Drewdie and I got the evil eye from Daddy...oh well.

What's the Big Surprise

My husband is up to something....imagine that! I have no clue what is going on, but I know that my kids are staying with my best friend tonight, overnight (say a prayer for them) and that is truly the extent of what I know. BJ has been SUPER secretive, not even telling me if I need to come home after work or meet him somewhere. I am totally in the dark, and that drive me batty. I'm a planner and need to know girl so that I can be prepared, but BJ has said to me like 100 times this week, "You just go to work and I'll take care of the rest". Today will surely be the longest day in the history of work....but what's a girl to do but wait. And I shouldn't act like I haven't tried bugging the pee out of BJ to find out what the deal is. But after nearly everyone in my life said, "You better leave it alone or you're going to ruin it", I finally decided to do my best at being patient and waiting (definitely NOT my strong suit).

In other news, Drew had his first testing this week. The psychologist said that after about 10 minutes she had trouble getting Drew to focus and concentrate and I'm thinking...DUH!!! This is the whole reason we are having him tested. He see the occupational therapist today for more tests. We won't get the results until the very end. This child IS wide open ALL the time, but he is so uniquely precious. He always brings Psalm 139:13 to mind, once again reminding me that God knit Drew together inside of my belly (WOW!!) And, even though he can drive me wild, if I can point him to Jesus, then God will do GREAT and MIGHTY things with that wild child. And for the mean time, I will treasure even more the moments when he climbs into my bed and shares his wrinkled and soggy thumb (his most treasured possession) with Mommy.

Devlan is playing baseball this spring in our local league. He goes for his skills assessment tomorrow at noon so that the teams can be assigned. He has NO lack of self-confidence. I was explaining that he has to do this so that no one team gets kids that are all good at the same things. He quickly informed me that "I'm good at throwin', and catchin', and hittin'" I love my little country bumpkin!

Alot can happen in just one weeks time

So here's all the craziness that filled the Brantley house over the past week:
*Devlan was picked up from school and told us that he got on orange. Now, that means he was one step from the principals office. When I asked him what happened, his response was "I touched a girl on her private parts". So now my heart is in my throat and I'm doing my best to not totally lose it and wreck the car (yes this is all happening while I drive). So I take a deep breath and ask very calmly, "What it up top or down between her legs?" Then Devlan gave me sort of a funny look (through the rearview mirror) and said "no Mommy, on the back of her legs". WHEW!! I had really been sweating, crazy things running through my head like is 6 too young to recognize a sexual predator and could a 6 year old be arrested, but I was so relieved to hear he only swatted the girl on her butt. And just for the record, he only hit her, after she hit him first, granted the child could use better aim and for the life of him can't understand why it's ok for Daddy to constantly be smacking Mommy on the hiney, but it's not ok for him to do it.
*Monday was my honey's birthday, the big 32. Devlan, wrote him a very sweet card, and then pulled out a small orange piece of paper from his bible. Months ago, Devlan had earned a certificate for a free Frosty from Wendy's at C2Kids. He had been saving it all this time for his Daddy's birthday. It was soooo sweet, and by now the thoughts of jail and therapy had long disappeared. I just held him for a long time, trying to remember the way his little hands felt around my back, so I can cry about it 20 years from now when his arms are around some huzzy. (Just kidding....sort of)
*Finally, our last big event of the week was when Devlan lost his very first tooth!!! Well lost probably isn't the best description. This child had wiggled and twisted this tooth until it was literally hanging out of his head. I finally convinced him to let me "check" it and when I touched it it feel in my hand. The tooth fairy visited and left $1. Devlan was a bit disappointed with only getting a dollar...I did my best not to whack him upside the head. What does he think? Money grows on trees?
I'm sure you guys are wondering where Drew was during all of this....climbing on something or terrorizing the dog mostly. He has been thrilled to not be the one in trouble for once, being very excited to tell me that he had a good day at school when his brother had a bad one. He's of course now thinking that all of his teeth are lose, because although sometimes they fight and bicker, Drew idolizes his big borther and wants to do and be everything he is!

Just call me....

A quick note on a VERY funny dinner table moment. I was talking with my sweet hubby about weight watchers over dinner (once again) and told him how my buddy had called herself "Fatty McFaterson". I thought this was hilarious and Devlan piped right up and said well "Mommy, you're Snotty McSnoterson (considering I've been sick for a month), so ya'll should be good friends". Where do they come up with this stuff? One day when I have time I'm going to write a book with all of these funny moments...

We're shaping their little minds.....scary huh?

So you would think after being a mom for over 6 years with 2 very different children, that I wouldn't have quite so many life altering aha moments...but I'm still having them....often. It is totally freaking me out that I still have much more power in the life of my children than even I realize. Let me explain... Devlan is a stellar student (of course with such brilliant parents) and for the 2nd nine weeks he again received the Principal's Award for A Honor Roll. And with his eyes wide and sparkling with all the pride his little heart could muster he said, "Mommy I'm a nerd just like you!". I thought it was precious and sweet, but it didn't hit me right then, however this morning on my drive to work (sometimes the only quiet I get) I was totally floored. See, usually the word "nerd" in America has a negative connotation, you think high-waters, pocket protectors, glasses, homely, etc. However, in my home, it is a term of endearment. My husband for years has lovingly called me "his little nerd" and Devlan has been witness to this millions of times. So much so, that in our own little bubble Devlan was excited to be labeled a nerd. This may not rock your world, but it has mine. So if we have the power and influence to change how our child interprets this seemingly meaningless word, I have to believe that we can also affect how he takes in many other parts of his world. I know it's not by what I say that he learns the most, but rather how I act. So with that in mind here a few words that I pray I can teach him what they mean, not what the "world" says they mean, but what God's word says about them.
FAITH
SERVICE
LOVE
RACE
HOPE
JESUS
WORSHIP
JOY
SUFFERING

Crisis galore....but MY God is still in control

So this week has been a doozie. It started out with 2 days out of town for work. Upon my return home the craziness began. Almost everyone of our closest friends had something major happen in their lives, and none of it was pleasant. We had a car wreck, a funeral for a 25 year old mother, almost disastrous legal problems, a doctors appointment, a surgery, and then this fabulous week ended with a bang.....a major job lay-off. So I come home, a beat beaten and bruised from the week and run to the only place I know with all the answers....MY GOD!!! BJ and I spend time in prayer together for each of these couples in our lives that we love so much (that is always the sweetest time). Then BJ pulls out his guitar so we can practice a song for the invitation at church on Sunday. We straight up worshiped together, singing to to the top of our lungs, hands reached to the sky, and tears running down my face. I think the words of the song
say it all so hear they are.

"Maker of Heaven" (by the Desperation Band)

Keep my heart amazed

Let me see Your wonders everyday

Teach me in Your ways so that I may fear

Pre-Chorus:

You are walking on water

You are calling me after

You are standing beside me now

Chorus:

You are the Maker of Heaven

You turned my world around

Youre making all things new again

Through it all I know You are God alone

Verse 2:

Set my heart on fire

Let me burn with passion for Your name

Take over my life I surrender now

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, You are God alone

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, You are God alone